How can something so cute

Be so evil?

You know, I suspected as much

Sheep are evil.

Pumpkin death

Squash vine borers got my pumpkins. I am very sad. I had two very happy snack jacks, and now I have none.

I've got to go out tonight and inspect the remaining pumpkin plants and zuchinni and see if they can be saved. It was too hot to do more than rip out the dead ones yesterday.

Sigh.

Bikini!

This bikini is made from a pattern in Ready Set Crochet by Susie Johns. First off, before I talk about the bikini, I'd like to say that, if you're a beginner, don't buy this book. It's only now that I'm fairly experienced that some of the instructions make sense and are do-able for me. For instance, this bikini pattern is one of very first ones in the book, and you have to work single crochet into the sides of rows and work some single crochet upside-down. That's not something a beginner should have to try to figure out.

So, the pattern. It's fairly good. I shouldn't have followed the directions and made the chain four between the cups, since I knew doing that was going to result in a bit too much stretch, but I followed the pattern anyway. :) Next time, I won't do that. And yes, there will likely be a next time, with some sigificant changes. I like the way the cups are made - the rest of it just needs some work.

This is made from one skein of Schachenmayr Crazy Cotton (a self-striping 100% cotton yarn that I absolutely adore working with) using my very favorite 2.25 mm hook. This was not my orphan skein from the Yarn Shop, and I've still got another skein of it. Maybe when I get around to it, I'll make a bikini bottom from it.

Biggie

Cordy's nickname is Biggie, ala Silent Bob.

In fact, she's a lot like Silent Bob: big, gentle, but willing to throw down when the time comes.

She's smart - smarter than we give her credit for, since she just keeps her mouth shut and goes along with whatever anyone else is doing most of the time.

She's incredibly loyal and always the first to comfort you when you need it.

But, mainly, she's big. And sometimes just a little bigger than she thinks she is.

Latecomers

We ordered some caladium bulbs this spring, thinking to plant them in the planter that we installed to keep the dogs from turning a particular patch of dirt into a barren wasteland.

So we planted them and waited. And waited. And waited. And then waited some more.

Then we gave up and bought a Boston fern and planted it in the box, like we've done for the past few years.

And then, about a month after that, the caladiums came up. The planter looks great - almost like we planned it that way. The caladium leaves are a wonderful shocking pink and against the dark green of the fern, they took stunning.

But I didn't know that caladiums bloomed. And the flowers look fake, and very 80s. And they only last for one day; something I didn't know until I thought "Oh, I'll get a photo of that flower tomorrow" and came back to find it all shriveled and gross.

So this is the second flower. Not pretty, but interesting. Also vaguely obscene.

This is the canna that I posted a picture of about a while back. It's in full floom now, along with about half of the other cannas.

They're not as tall this year for some reason. I assume they're dissin' me for bad-mouthing them and trying to give the tubers away to random people I see on the street. Or, the weather has been crappy for them. Or we planted too many too close together.

But they're still pretty, even if they're dwarfs.

Stuff I hate

In no particular order:

• cell phones ringing at work and the subsequent loud phone conversation
• belief in the extraterrestrial production of crop circles and alien abduction (these are the two topics I just can't stand in a sci fi movie or TV show)
• those who get all huffy about shortening "science fiction" to "sci fi"
• the general lack of critical thinking
• those who think that not poisoning me is a curtailment of their civil rights
• questions from non-friends on my sexuality, childbearing status, religion or politics
• the assumption that I am a christian
  
• Columbus' lack of a good public transportation system
• driving in heavy traffic
• the assumption that poverty = criminality
• the assumption that different = threat
  
• those who fear the unknown
• the superficial stratification of art into "high" and "low"
• evangelical teetotalers
• evangelical anything

And I'm sure there's more, but that's all I can think of for the moment.

A fowl day

So, yesterday after I got home from work? Just blew. No internet, upset tummy dog, ran out of wine, grouchy husband - the works.

Except for one thing. I got a tiny crocheted chicken (with green egg bra) from Regina! She said that the color is "just wrong" but I think it's perfect. In fact, I have named her Rancid Chicken. With a little red bow tied around her scrawny nekkid neck, she will grace our holiday tree this year.

Thanks, Regina!

(Quarter is included for size reference.)

Tankini

Why I've not been blogging much this week: for my beach trip next month, I made myself a tankini:

Click for bigger photos

(I wanted it to be longer, but I ran out of yarn, and The Yarn Shop, of course, didn't have any more of that color.)

It's made with Schachenmayr Catania with a 2.25 mm hook. The cups are three granny squares (based on the Lacy Cross square from 200 Crochet Blocks - just the first five rounds), and the bottom is the Filet Squares pattern from The Crochet Stitch Bible - easily my favorite crochet reference book, (along with Crocheting School). I really liked the way the filet squares pattern echoes, but doesn't copy, the lacy cross pattern. The ties are just single crochet; I like the curly effect of them.

I think I'll make a bikini top, too, with an orphan skein of yarn I found when I went to check for more yarn today. More Catania. I love that yarn. :)

I love this headline

Feds Charge Pair in $600 Million Cheese-Making Scam

Now I will go read the article and hope it lives up to the headline.

Office peer pressure

The mother of one of my coworkers has died, and a mass of people from the office are going to the funeral. Three people have stopped by my office to ask if I wanted a ride.

I don't.

I'm not going.

This has brought about some strange looks from coworkers, but here's the deal. The guy who's mother has died? I don't like him. He doesn't like me. The dislike is very mutual. So why, now that he's going through a very hard time, should I pretend as if I like him? I don't. He will know that. Why should I insult him in his time of grief by barging in on him and his family and friends?

Someone said (rather snottily, I might add), "Well, you'd feel differently if it were happening to you."

No I wouldn't. Why on earth would I want someone I don't like bothering me when I've got enough to deal with? It's hard enough being civil at times like that without having to be civil to people I actively dislike. I know this for a fact, having had to do it relatively recently. I know that some people prefer quantity over quality, but I'd rather have people around who genuinely cared, not just people who felt they "had" to be there or risk looking bad to the rest of the office/social circle.

I'm not planning on being mean to this guy or anything, and I've cut him a lot of slack lately, since I've known his mother has been ill. But I'm not going to suddenly become little miss best friend. That's insincere, and to my ethical code, just wrong, too.

A lot of people might not understand, but I think grief is private and should only be intruded upon and shared by those who genuinely care.

[shrug]

On a lighter note, I caught a different male coworker staring at my boobs today. I'm wearing a shirt with ooh-shiny! beads over the boobage area, and he was just staring as I spoke to him. Suddenly, he shook his head and looked up, saying, "Your ... shirt is all sparkly. It, uh, caught the light." Uh-huh. 'Kay. I'll buy that the shirt caught your attention, but that's not what made your eyes stay there. Male.

Kaylee's couch

Kaylee had her first fever in a long time (about a month - a long time for her) over the weeeknd, and I didn't have the heart to make her squinch up on the couch since her hocks hurt a lot this time. She seemed to really enjoy having the couch to herself. (She's feeling a lot better now, thank you. Still not eating right yet, but that will come in time. The fevers are very hard on her little body.)

And yesterday, we accessorized her couch. Two stripey, colorful pillows found on clearance at Target. Now, I'm looking for something to replace her blue "you're allowed here" blankey. Added to the silk flowers I got on clearance at Jo-Anns, it will take us less than $70 to accessorize the living room to go with the new paint color. Not bad. And I'm sure Kaylee appreciates it. :)

Jeff's handy

If you know Jeff, you would not even suspect that Jeff is handy and good with tools. To be honest, he wasn't, until fairly recently. But now that's he's been initiated into the glory of powertools, he's become pretty good at it.

For our living room, I wanted more storage. Frankly, we are both untidy people and tend to leave our stuff on any horizontal surface. So we need some place to hide it. I asked Jeff to build me something. I painted it lavender and put baskets in it that we got for cheap.

(BTW, the wall color is much closer to the real color - not what was shown in a previous post. The lavender is pretty accurate, though it's not quite so patchy-looking in person)

I like it. Jeff did a good job. Now, he just has to make another one for by his chair. And something like this, but with doors, for the dining room. And maybe something for my sewing room. And ...

Meijer rocks

One day at Meijer, Jeff was using the facilities, and while I waited, I looked at a small display of spring-planting bulbs. There, I found a pineapple lily, which I had never seen before.

We've pretty much ignored it, and the squirrels even dug the bulb up once or twice, but it seems to be thriving. It's even bigger than the package said it would be. Benign neglect. My kind of plant.

I think we'll lift this bulb and save it for next year. And maybe buy more.

Cannas love me

I'm not sure how I feel about them, but cannas love me.

Last spring, Jeff's dad gave us one box of canna bulbs. We planted them, then ignored them. They thrived, providing us with tons of red tropical flowers.

In the fall, we thought, "Hey, we'll dig them up and have a few for next year, if they survive the winter in the cellar."

We dug up three boxes, and even though all I did was store them off the floor, making sure they didn't get wet, apparently I couldn't manage to kill them.

We ran out of places to plant them, even though we gave away an entire box to my mom (have fun digging those up at grandpa's this fall, mom!), we still had to find places to plant the remainder. We gave up after a while, and some of them Jeff just shoved under a thin layer of dirt on the side of the house.

They're happy as clams.

Anyone want some cannas this fall?

War of the chayote

In the last two weeks, one of our chayotes (the one that gets the most sun) has grown about four to five feet. Within about three days, it will be able to reach our phone line, which runs just above the pergola.

I fear that I will awake one morning, the phone dead, and the doors blocked by The Chayote That Took Over The World.

Luckily, our second chayote is apparently a bit slow, and they can't work in tandem. Woe unto us if they could.

Please, please, please don't let them join the Vegetable Liberation Army!

I eat, therefore, I'm ... a little chubby

I weigh about 140, and for someone who's almost 5'4', that's not bad. My BMI is the high end of normal, but I'm not overweight. So, I'm not really bitching too much. But damn do I carry my weight ugly!

It looks as if I've got a pouch full of baby marsupials grafted onto my abdomen. Blech. Unattractive. (Not baby marsupials - well, not once they've got hair, anyway. It was the pouch I was blech-ing.) And, frankly? I've got a big butt. And broad, baby-birthin' hips to start with, which the fat ass nicely accentuates.

Why do I bring this all up anyway? Because I used the stairstepper this morning and now my thighs are killing me. Why was I using the evil, thigh-torturing stairstepper? Because I had the sudden realization that in a month, I will be on the beach, and I'd like to be able to fit into the cute pair of little hot pink shorts (to match my awfully cute little hot pink suitcase) I bought at the end of last summer specifically to wear to the beach this year, and I can't.

Not by much, mind you, but enough. I can get them on, and even close them, providing I don't breathe too deeply or mind the rolls of chub that have been shoved up and out in a truly attractive manner.

So. The stairstepper. And the resolution to drink less wine and get off my ass for a walk a few days a week at work. I'm not asking to lose much. Just a smidge. A little bit. Just so I can breathe in the shorts, even. I can always wear a t-shirt or something to hide the chub rolls.

So, with little hot pink shorts as my battle cry, I will now set off on my quest.

The porch is FINISHED!!!

This has been a weekend for accomplishments!

Our porch is done, complete with lockable gate and mailbox moved to the outside of the railing.

We still need to touch up the paint and furnish it, but it's ready to be enjoyed now.

The dogs were very excited. Kaylee barely stopped moving long enough for me to get this photo with her and Cordy.

This is the last project we have planned until later this summer, and damn am I glad!

The living room is PAINTED!!!

Thanks to mom and her friend Anita for driving three hours to help me paint our living room. While they were both hesitant about the color, they both decided they liked it by the time they left today. Here's before:

And here's after:

(The mirror that used to be over the fireplace is currently resting in front of the fireplace, but it will go out to the back alley for whoever wants to come along and take it. Alley recycling. Gotta love it.)

I love the color. It's brighter than it looks in the photo - not so pastel-minty. Think ... new leaves on a palm tree. It's called "Crocodile Smile" and that's half the reason we picked it. :)

We still have stuff to put back up on the walls, and for the family photos that we have lining the stairs, I'm going to spray paint the frames all the same color (turquoise) and re-hang them.

It was a whole hell of a lot of work, but I love it.